friendships – Say YES to Life

Celebrating 40: Iconic Album Covers

Published on July 12, 2016July 13, 2016 by MattLeave a comment

A few weeks ago I was gathering songs for the “poolside” playlist on my 40th Birthday Celebration trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. My friend Cary and I were messaging back and forth about songs. He sent me a list of every #1 song on my birthday over the past 39 years. There was only one song that I wrote back and said, “I can’t have “The Macarena” on my playlist.” He suggested I use the #2 song from my birthday in 1996, “You’re Makin’ Me High” by Toni Braxton. I said, “Oh, is that the ‘red’ album cover?” “No, that was later in the 2000s.” At that moment, a new blog post started to be created.

2000

I heard Dick Clark tell Oprah once, “Music is the soundtrack of our life.” For me and many of you, music is just that for you too. I’m a pretty nostalgic person. I get that from my dad. There are so many memories that I have that are related to music. “Drive” by the Cars takes me back to a moment when I was driving home for curfew back in high school. It was summer and my windows were down. I think it was probably 11:45p.m. I will always remember that drive down Westnedge Avenue past Portage Central High School, on my way home. Album cover art also can take us back to times in our lives in an instant. There are many album covers that are on lists of “the best ever”. Perhaps some of my “iconic” covers are the same, but probably not most. My iconic album covers take me back to childhood, the teen years, college, and even the more recent past. Join me down my memory lane.

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1980

One of the first influential artists for me was Barbara Mandrell. I was four or five years old and used to dress up and perform alongside her and her sisters on Saturday nights during their show. A wooden spoon was my microphone, the fireplace hearth was my stage, and the light above was my spotlight. My grandparents took me to two county fairs to see her in concert. I had several of her albums. My favorite was the vinyl of her live concert which she ended with “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” But it was this album that always has stayed in my mind. I LOVED the hot pick and I LOOOOOVED her high heels on the back cover. She was fierce!

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1983

My mom had this cassette tape. I remember getting a new station wagon in 1984 with a tape player in it. It was so exciting to go for rides in that car and get to play this tape. It had so many hits, “Penny Lover”, “Running With the Night”, “All Night Long”, “Hello”, “Stuck On You,”and my absolute favorite, “The Only One.” So many hit songs. Albums don’t produce this many hits now. This is a classic album and I will always remember the white and blue.

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1982

Another early classic in my life, the cassette tape of Olivia Newton-John’s Greatest Hits Volume 2. This WAS basically her 1983 HBO concert that I was obsessed with. Again, I used to find my mother’s clothes and dress up as close as I could to her four costume changes and I would perform over and over again as I watched this concert. “Make a Move On Me”, “Magic”, “Suddenly”, “Physical”, “A Little More Love”, “Heart Attack” and of course, “Xanadu”. You can’t even find this album on iTunes or Spotify. It’s a real shame. I love this entire album! It is too bad that Olivia never had much after about 1984. Could that be because Madonna hit it big?

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1986

Speaking of Madonna, True Blue, is her most iconic album cover to me. The short blonde hair is everything and those thick eyebrows! “Open Your Heart”, “La Isla Bonita”, “Live To Tell”, and “Papa Don’t Preach” are such iconic songs to me. I remember when “Open Your Heart” came out I was 10 years old, roughly the same age as that boy in the video. He was so cute and I definitely noted that in my head. Hmmmm…. I loved that he got to dance around with Madonna too. This was also the album that sparked conversations with my parents about what I was listening to. My parents never made much fuss over my music choices. I guess probably because I was listening to Lionel, Olivia, and Whitney. However, “Papa Don’t Preach” sparked conversations and a somewhat ban on me listening to that song. I don’t think the “ban” stuck very long, I guess a battle they didn’t want to fight. Mostly this album was about “Open Your Heart” for me. It really was my jam as a young gay boy!

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1982

RIO by Duran Duran was totally 80s pop art. This cover WAS 1982 at it’s best and is what I think about when I think about the early 80s. One of my second cousins had this album. He was a bit older than me. His hair style and clothes matched that of the early 80’s Duran Duran. I was so jealous of his style. I love the 80s!

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1982

Another early 80s gem is Vacation by the Go-Go’s. This makes me remember spending long summer days over at the Anderson’s house. I would play dress up and pageants with Melanie and her cousin Pam. I would also get to play with Mel’s Barbie dolls. She was a bit older and so over playing with Barbie, but it was everything to me because I wanted a Barbie so badly. Haha. Anyway, listening to the Go-Go’s and Tears For Fears and watching General Hospital filled those summer days in 1984-85. What great memories!

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1984

1984 was all about Michael Jackson. I think my brother had this cassette tape. The thing I remember most was the baby tiger and Michael on the inside cover. While “Thriller” scared me(Vincent Price laughing), “Billie Jean”, Human Nature” and “PYT” were my favorites. I think Bad was more my time, but this album cover was Michael’s big push away as an iconic solo artist.

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1984

Also in 1984 my brother had this Van Halen album, 1984. I just remember thinking that baby was so naughty and I couldn’t believe my parents let my brother have this tape. However, I’m glad they did because….”Panama”, “Jump”, and “Hot For Teacher”.

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1984

Isn’t it funny and interesting what speaks to people? What stands out to one person is totally different than another person. When I’m asked the age old question, “When did you know you were gay?” I often think about 6th grade as that pivotal time of noticing boys and thinking they were cute. But then I think about this album cover for Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. We didn’t have this album in our house but I remember seeing it and thinking, “his butt!” Obviously there is more to this album, “Born in the USA”, “Glory Days”, “I’m On Fire” and “Dancing in the Dark”, but really, it’s that butt!!

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1987

While most people think very fondly of this album, and I admit now, it’s a great album. “Where the Streets Have No Name, “With or Without You” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” stand the test of time. I love those songs. Yet, on March 2, 1988 at the 30th Annual Grammy Awards, The Joshua Tree beat Whitney Houston’s Whitney album for Album of the Year and I was SO MAD! Haha, oh to be an outraged 11 year old! Anyway, this is iconic for me because it beat Whitney. How dare they!

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1987

That smile! That hair! This album was and will forever be everything to me! Many people think about Whitney’s debut album with her slicked back hair and that peach toga on, but I really think this fun, bright 80s album cover is an 80s classic. My cousin Tammy got this cassette tape for me for my birthday in 1987. Whitney was 23 years old when she recorded this hit making album. With the release of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody(Who Loves Me)”, “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”, “So Emotional”, and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” along with three hits from her debut album, Whitney hit a record which still stands today-Seven Consecutive Number One Hits. Mick Jagger was in a studio next to Whitney the day she recorded “So Emotional”. On his way out of the studio he knocked on her door so he could meet the person behind that voice. Mick told Whitney she had an instant hit with “So Emotional” and he was right. It might be some of the non-released songs that are my favorite. The sultry, r&b burner “Just the Lonely Talking Again” and “Where You Are” probably my favorite Whitney song ever. It’s simple with classic 80s saxophone and just her pure 23 year old voice. This is Whitney’s pop sensation and the cover is pure pop perfection!

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1992

That dancing bee!

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1999

I don’t really know why this cover sticks out to me? You? Haha! This IS the TRL Generation for sure. We had boy bands and Britney, but we also had Blink 182 and “What’s My Age Again”.

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1995

Tragic Kingdom and No Doubt was my freshman year at Michigan State. There were a ton of other albums that year too, but for some reason this one sticks in my mind. “Spiderwebs”, “Don’t Speak”, but mostly “The Climb” played over and over again in A416 Bryan Hall. There is so much going on on this cover. The flies, the fruit that looks like chocolate chip cookies, but mostly Gwen!

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1994

“Waterfalls” was everything and this album was everything also my freshman year of college. CrazySexyCool spoke to each of their personas but it’s the red color, the eyes that stand out. “Creep”, “Diggin’ On You”, “Waterfalls” and “Red Light Special” were the hits, but “Sumthin’ Wicked This Way Comes” was on repeat. CrazySexyCool propelled TLC into the r&b stratosphere!

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2013

I have a love/hate relationship with this album cover. It’s iconic because there are very few people who are known by just their first name. Beyoncé is one of those artists. This album was a surprise release and it is one of her best. Yet, is she a little lazy by just making it black and pink? Why so lazy Bey? Or did she do it simply because she can? Regardless, it stands out to me and I remember it because it came at a time in my life that was rocky. I remember going over to my friend Dennis’s apartment and drinking martinis and listening to this album over and over again one cold February night. It was one of those times that you just needed a friend and music.

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1993

May 1993, “That’s the Way Love Goes” was everything to me. I know I use the word “everything” a lot in this post because depending on the time in my life, these albums were everything to me. Janet. came at a time that I was really trying to figure things out about life and high school and all of that stuff. My brother was off to college and his high school relationship had ended. I remember thinking during “Again” that maybe they would get back together. They didn’t and as we know now, that is how life works, but I really thought and hoped they would get back together because of the words in “Again.” Haha, oh youth! This was the controversial album that had a man holding Janet’s breasts on the cover of Rolling Stone. Regardless of that, I absolutely LOVED her short ringlets. I loved them. I loved the sepia tone and the burnt siena “Janet.” This album exudes sex and sexiness – “Throb” and “Any Time Any Place” for a teenager just starting to take note of all of that stuff. And of course, there is the video that every girl and gay man still wants to recreate, “IF”. This album will go down in my history as one of the best.

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So there they are, the album covers that are iconic to me and some of the music that goes along with them. Is it just me or have album covers and album art become less relevant over the years? With iTunes and Apple Music and Spotify, are we really that concerned with the cover art? Do we look at it the same? Do we need it like we used to? Remember walking into the music store and going straight to the poster section? I would always go in and hope for a new Whitney Houston promotional poster. I missed out on her first posters for the Whitney Houston album, and finally this one came out and the Anderson’s got it for me for my birthday. I still have it!

Yet I do wonder, do we view album art like we used to? I don’t think we do because everything is so quick on the internet. Rarely are we going to the music store to buy albums. We used to need to see that artwork and get excited over it. Now we just buy things on the internet in an instant and it’s done. I love that all of these album covers mean something to me and derive memories over time.

As I turn 40 and reflect back on music and the memories it produces I am able to see that for me music is really my spiritual connection with life. Listening to artists interpret songs is nothing short of transformative for me. Music does take me back to times in my life that I want to remember, whether happy or sad, simply because it helps me understand my life better and helps me see how far I have come in the last 40 years.

Thank you for being a friend!

Published on May 26, 2015 by Matt1 Comment

WOW-it’s been a year since I started my blog, Say Yes To Life! I really can’t believe that 365+ days have gone by and what a difference 365 days have made in my life. A year ago I was definitely starting to hit my stride again after a very difficult year. I was also about to meet someone who would change my life. What it all comes down to for me, is friendship. The way I got out of the darkness of loss is because of friends. The reason I started this blog is because of friends. The reason I met my love is because of friends. Friendships ebb and flow, but the real ones last forever.

I was recently in London and saw Beautiful: The Carole King Musical.

I didn’t know much about Carole King except that she has written a ton of songs and people love her. My boyfriend and I went to the show without much expectation. It did win the star a Tony Award in the USA and the equivalent award in England was recently won by it’s “Carole”. After two hours I walked away having a greater sense of the massive amounts of hit songs Carole King wrote AND tear filled eyes. My boyfriend and I were standing on the corner of the street and I just started to sob. What moved me more than anything in the show was the power of friendship. Carole King and her husband were a writing team. Next door in the same music executive office was another writing team, Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil. This foursome became such amazing friends, which was reflected in the show. Everything about how they met and became friends and supported each other through life’s ups and downs, even though they were competing to get their songs picked up by the record company, was beautiful. I started to sob because I am so fortunate to have so many friends from over the years who have supported me in big and small ways. Carole King, Gerry Goffin, Barry Mann, and Cynthia Weil represent the good and bad, happy and sad times in life that all need support. Friendship is about supporting each other and looking out for one another and truly, moving through life, together. The minute I left the theatre I knew I would write a blog about my friendships and what they mean to me. So here it is….

Friendship is about time. We are all so busy. No matter if your busy is picking the kids up after work and feeding them and putting them to bed or going to yoga, then dinner with friends, everyone is busy with their life. I am so fortunate to have friends who reach out and say, “Hey, let’s grab dinner. Let’s grab drinks.” Just last night I had dinner with a couple of my running friends. We haven’t seen each other in months, but it was great to catch up. Tonight I had a couple beers with a friend of 15 years. We met at a bar that we used to frequent back in our early teaching days. We both commented that, “it still smells the same it did in 2001.” Though I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like and our times aren’t as crazy as they used to be, we can always pick up where we left off. The point is, you have to make the effort to keep friendships going because when life is going well and you are “busy”, it can get away from you.

The reason this blog, SAY YES TO LIFE! started is because a high school friend I hadn’t seen since June 1995 reached out on Facebook and said, “Hey, I’m going to be in Chicago, I love your #100Happydays posts, and we should get a glass of wine.” We did and that hour of my life changed my life. She truly inspired me to share my story and share my life. What that meant a year ago was to share the pain of the previous year(completely cathartic). Now it means sharing what I’ve learned about life, by SAYing YES TO LIFE! And where I got the name of the blog was because a friend said, “I can’t believe you are going to meet up with Dana.” I said, “I’m saying yes to life!” Dana gave me her time, which was a true gift to me. I’m forever grateful

As I mentioned above, tonight I grabbed beers with my friend Amanda. I posted on Facebook that we were at our old watering hole reminiscing about 2001. Since I have been writing, the amount of “likes” on that post keeps going up and up from all of our old teaching friends. Many of those people I haven’t seen in years, but we shared something so special back then. We were all under 30 or right around there. We were all single. We were all fun people and boy did we have fun. What I have learned in life is that things change. No matter how hard you try to not let the changes happen, they do. However, what I can do is go back in my memory bank and remember those amazing, great times. What matters is that we all gave each other our time. It is one of the greatest gifts we can give to someone. Time. Time is precious and now knowing how life gets so “busy” I truly value the time that my friends give me. Whether we are making dinner and drinking wine, crying on the phone over boys, laughing on Divvy bikes, dancing our fool heads off, or just chilling, we are giving one another time and that is valuable. Things can change at a moment’s notice, we all know too well, so give time to your friends. It’s really important.

Friendship is also about drinking. Face it, this is the truth! There have been different times in the last few years that I have tried to give up alcohol for a month, six weeks, whatever. What I have noticed is that I like to drink. I’ve also noticed that my friends are lushes too. So that is important! Ha, well, what it has shown me is that a lot of the time I spend with friends being social is centered around food and drinking. You know what? I’m ok with that. I should also note that my drinking has evolved over the years. Back in 2000 when I moved to Chicago it was Captain and Coke. Good God, if I even smell that these days I gag. I was also typically around a Flip Cup table. Now I am a refined drinker of rosé, or as it should be called, “Summer Water.” I like to do this on someone’s deck or on a patio in the summer. If drinking brings me together with my friends, so be it. What is important, again, is that we are spending time together, the true gift in life.

Friendship is about taking their hand, walking with them side by side, and letting them know that it is going to be ok. There are so many different times in life that are dark. Breakups, death, loss…. When I was in that dark place, I had friends who would be with me in a moment’s notice, who would cook dinner, who would be there to take my call in the morning and at night and at noon and at….you get the point. I had friends who would get drinks with me just so I didn’t have to be alone. I’m forever grateful for all of my friends who took time out of their busy life to walk by my side and let me know that I would be ok. I am ok. I’m SO ok now and a much better person because of the struggle. But the best thing that came of that darkness is that I was able to spend time with some amazing people in my life. Look, we’re all trying to make it through this life day by day. Some days are better than others, but I truly believe that friendships help us in those dark times but also in the good times to remind us always that we have a really damn good life. Be a good friend and notice when someone needs you. Whether it is a shoulder to cry on or a drinking buddy they need, be there, by their side.

From a blog, Positive Outlooks Blog, I follow:

Life is not a race-but indeed a journey. Be honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say “thank you”. “I love you”, and “great job” to someone each day. Take time for prayer. Be thankful. Love your life and what you’ve been given, it is not accidental. Search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself. Plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you’ve been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment. — Bonnie Mohr

So to all of my friends, THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND. It’s no secret that gay men and single women often talk about having a “Golden Girls” house when we get older. I mean, we’re going to have to take care of each other, right? Each group of friends has a Rose and a Blanche, a Dorothy and a Sophia. We all have a Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte too. Friendship is special. Friendships evolve over time. Some are more significant than others and some last longer than others too. What I think is special is that people come into our lives for different reasons and for different lengths of time. But the most significant thing is to realize how each person who has crossed your life, from your first friend at age three to your most recent friend, has impacted you. How have they shared their time with you? How have you shared your time with them. Tomorrow you might not wake up or your friend might not come home from work again. Take the time to reach out and show the love you have for your friends. Spend time with those people who make you happy and who help to make you a better person. Spend your precious time smiling and laughing and enjoying good food and drinks. Life is short so get out there and enjoy it. Life is also beautiful when you stop for a moment and enjoy your friendships.

Seasons Change

Published on September 11, 2014September 12, 2014 by Matt1 Comment

Let me take you back, it’s February 10, 2002 and you are watching the final episode of the best Sex and the City season, Season 4. Carrie and Aiden broke up again, Big left again, but Carrie has a new, sassy haircut and dark smokey eyes. It’s Fall, change is upon Carrie, not only with men, but Miranda, her bestie just had a baby. It’s Fall, the change of a season, leaves are falling from the sky and a lot in Carrie’s life has changed.

Today is a crisp day in Chicago and I sense the change of season is upon us. As I drove home from yoga I couldn’t help but notice the leaves are changing colors. Thirty minutes earlier I was at the end of my yoga practice, in shavasana. I was feeling great. Many of my favorite teachers have left, but this new one, Lauren, captured me. As I laid there I reflected on the place I was a year ago. Although I was working so hard on getting past a breakup, I was still very much hurting on a daily basis. I’d say to myself, “You can do this. You aren’t where you want to be but you are so far from the pain you felt in May and June and July.” As soon as I felt strong, it seemed I felt weak again. Each day was still a struggle, but I was making it. I was making each day the best I could make it. I was heavy into marathon training and into yoga practice. However, today, as I lay there on my mat I felt completely different. A year later I feel completely different. I’m energized like myself. I feel a release of energy that is so true to my being. A year ago my intention in practice was healing, today my intention was love. I just had this feeling on my mat today of AHHHHHH, changes have occurred and actually, I’m a far happier person because of those changes. I’m in a far better place because of those changes. Gosh it was a long journey, through many seasons, but I made it to the other side. On a daily basis I did not see where I was headed, but what I know for sure, is that each day of the past 365 days, I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And right now, September 11, 2014, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I would never wish upon anyone to go through heartbreak. It sucks! But now, very far from it, with clear eyes and a full heart, I can clearly see the changes that the past 16 months have afforded me. What should be known is that each day isn’t easy. You have to make an effort to move forward and let go. My god did I struggle with letting go. But once I did, doors opened. New people came into my life and because of those new people, other people came into my life. I started this blog because I finally let go. I participated in the Gay Games in Cleveland because I finally let go. I have a different energy in my life now because I let go. And honestly, I’ve packed on 10 lbs. because I LET GO! Let’s be honest, crying daily and not eating and training for a marathon can take you down to 168 lbs., but sitting at 178 lbs., a year later, I’m a much happier, energized person.

I remember back in July last year, I was sitting at my doctor’s office with a broken heart and broken hand. She said, “Wow, you’re really going through a season, but don’t worry, it will get better. Everything changes, you just have to hold on for a little bit before you see it. Your hand will mend, and so will your heart.” I of course was sobbing, but she was right. My hand did heal and so did my heart. I had to fucking tape that shit back together somedays, but with each stick of new tape and each step of the day, it all got better. With friends’ help, oh friends’ help, I made it to my yoga mat today where I realized how far my journey has taken me and how far I have come. If you find yourself in a similar situation, just hold on. Surround yourself by loving friends and get a whole mess of tape because it could take a lot of mending before it all sticks back together. But you have to believe that one day, your heart will stick all back together. It may never feel the same way, but I believe that is ok. It’s not meant to feel the same way. Your heart changes too, just as you do. You will always love again, just in a different way. Thank your journey for teaching you all kinds of ways to love. And remember this, seasons are going to happen, some of them good, some of them not so good. You will make it to the other side.

Oh, no truer words have been written, no truer words. A year ago I was just starting to take longer steps in a forward progression to letting go. As I reflect, I realize that I needed ALL of that time to learn about myself and heal and tape my heart up and tape again and accept the changes and SEE how wonderful the experiences I’ve lived this year have been. A month ago I was coming off the greatest 10 days at the Gay Games in Cleveland. Had I still been living my life of 2012-2013, I would never have experienced the love, joy, and excitement of being a competitive athlete at the Gay Games. CHANGE, I don’t love it, but it brings us to where we need to be. It forces us to veer off course and perhaps make our fate. If things in my life hadn’t changed, I would not be sitting here today typing and sharing my writing. So many parts of my life, right now, wouldn’t be as they are had things not changed. Am I going to say it? Change, change is good.

As seasons come and go, often fall, is a time of reflection as spring is a time of new hope, new adventures. Winter is a time for, well, winter sucks, but summer, summer is a time for fun and joy. My hope for you, as autumn seems to be upon us, is that you had a wonderful summer filled with more joy and love than you could ever imagine. I hope that new people have brought joy and love to your life, as they have to mine, and I hope your dearest friends have remained that consistent joyful reminder of happiness and how far you have come on this journey. I hope that autumn brings you a time of reflection, a nice new sweater and good changes.

What Chicago Means to Me

Published on July 19, 2014July 19, 2014 by MattLeave a comment

Heading into 15 years living, learning, and loving in Chicago. I moved to Chicago July 19, 2000, what? Where did time go? What have the last 14 years meant to me? When I graduated from Michigan State it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that I was moving here. Though I did not know anyone in the city, my parents helped me pack up the van and leave 10330 Lloy St. for the last time. What I know for sure is that I was raised in Portage, Michigan, but I GREW UP in Chicago.

I can only imagine the horror my mother, in particular, must have felt dropping me off at my apartment on Kenmore and Montrose, in “North” Wrigleyville as I called it. I’ve been mocked for years about that one, but who wanted to live in Uptown? I was a 24-year-old, Wrigleyville should have been my home. Haha. Though the neighborhood is way more cleaned up now, it still needs more and back then, it needed a lot. There were homeless guys lying around and certainly the Target, et al. were not there to spruce up the streets. I didn’t want to display my fear, so I stayed as strong as a 24-year-old boy could, shaking in his boots. I knew no one and I didn’t know what to do with my time. My second day some drugged up woman got into my building and came to my door asking for money or drugs. I had to shove her out and lock the door. I stayed for 4 days and called my mom crying. She told me to come home for a few days, which turned into two or three weeks. What I know now, 14 years later, is that I could have gone to a bar and sat there for dinner and drinks. I could have gotten out of the apartment and gone for a roller blade down the lake(yes, I still had roller blades then). However, I didn’t have the confidence. What do you do when you are alone, in a city where you know no one, and you have four weeks until work starts? Ah, to do it all over again, I would have stayed. Speaking of staying, I told my mother I would stay in Chicago for a year and see how things go. I have a sneaking suspicion she knew I wouldn’t return to Michigan. The big city is for me. Chicago is where I grew up!

Here’s to 15 years in Chicago with 15 classic, not necessarily classy, times.

TOBs (The OB’s) sorority we created and follow-up initiation ceremony of our ‘Lils.

THE Friendsgiving at Amanda, Jess and Shayna’s – making friends, losing friends, and Sure-Thing Schuering’s bedroom conversations – oh you remember, THAT one!

“Youhoo” dinner at Lucia’s with 15+ bottles of wine, Cary, Charlie, Carrie, Diane and Patty. “Youhoo” who’s taking me home tonight?”

Leaving Starlight Express at intermission to race home to Lesley’s apartment for the show Paradise Hotel. “Yahtzee game on!”

The “Pretty Woman” moment waking up in a hotel room downtown, by myself, opening the curtains and realizing I was at the Swissotel.

(Forever known as “The View” photo.)

Wicked Keggers dancing out of closets (and from under tables) to “Last Dance”, keg stands, and flip cup!

The NSync concert and stalking Joey Fatone – I think I lived in my new Lincoln Park apartment for only a few days. I’d just met my roommate Laura. The night started by going to Soldier Field for the NSync concert with Amanda, Jess, and Deana. Following, we got “word” where the boys would be hanging out. One of the places, Kustom Night Club, was mere feet away from our apartment. We (Laura, neighbor Julie, and I)loaded into Julie’s car and we went on a hunt. Zipping through the streets, on Armitage, off Armitage. On Clybourn, off, Clybourn. We parked the car, then drove again. We sat in an ally until we saw the black SUV pull up. This is it! It seemed after all the twists, turns, and alleys that we were a distance away from our apartment. Julie parked the car again and we hustled to the club. It’s weird to me that we got right in, but we did. We got drinks and waited, waited some more, ordered more drinks and waited longer. Finally, AHHHHHHHHHHH, they arrived, at least that was the buzz in the bar. “OMG, I’m going to meet Justin. OMG!” Imagine all of our dismay when Joey Fatone walked by to the VIP lounge and brushed up against Laura arm. She was sort of excited and pissed at the same time. “OMG, he graced my arm. Why did it have to be Joey? Who likes Joey?” As we left, someone said, “I feel like we are right around the corner from our apartment.” Shortly thereafter, we got to the car and drove approximately 1000 feet back to our apartment.

Market Days 2009 positioning ourselves at Mini Bar both Saturday and Sunday (wash, rinse, repeat) for hours drinking vodka lemonades, meeting the boys from Atlanta, and yes, dancing the night away at Charlie’s.

My Hollywood Night! The Scene: August night, post kickball game, Kit Kat Club, “Dreamgirls” playing, drag queen performing – Dennis and me in our super cute “After School Specials” short red shorts uniforms and a few martinis deep….we enter Kit Kat and as if the spotlight of a Broadway show turned to us we immediately go into Dreamgirls performance mode. We sashayed up and down the bar, full crowd cheering us on as the drag queen was in the back room performing her heart out. The song ends, Dennis and I take a Dreamgirls pose (I’m obviously Beyoncé), and the crowd of people at the tables roar with cheers, they are on their feet yelling and screaming and clapping. The drag queen is on her way back up to the front ready to claw our eyes out. The bartender jumps over the bar and pushed Dennis and me out of the bar, “Get outta here, SHE PISSED!” Best, best, best moment EVER!

My 30th Birthday/Coming Out Party! The amazing, “Is It Gay In Here or Is It Just Me?” night ended with Dennis and me trying to find Charlie’s dance club, which we had been to countless times. “Dennis?”

“Yes, Matty.”

“Are we at Lake Shore Drive?”

“Yes Matty, we are. How did that happen?”

This Night!

The Running of the Bulls Halloween! Hands down, the best!

My first night ever out in Boystown, the “ah ha” moment of being in a bar with all men-what a “right” feeling and what a debaucherous night.

Completing my first Chicago Marathon in 2011. Truly the best day of my life!

Hitting on myself at Charlie’s at 4 a.m. I blame the sangria from Ba Ba Reeba. So what happened is that we had to wait close to two hours for our table. As we proceeded to drink more and more, the night got fuzzy. Some of us ended up at Charlie’s dance club around 2 a.m. In hindsight I should have left with my friends, but I stayed. Good thing I did because I met a guy that night. The scene: hot sultry August night, smoky dance floor, 4 a.m., boys sweating and dancing everywhere, and I saw him. We made eye contact from across the dance floor, through the smoke, and started to approach each other in slow motion. As I got closer to him, he got closer to me. As I smiled, he smiled. “This is it,” I thought. As I reached for his hand, he reached for me……then I ran into the mirror! I RAN INTO THE FUCKING MIRROR! I hit on MYSELF! MYSELF!!!!

What I Know For Sure

The last 14 years have flown by like a flash and mostly been one hell of a ride. When I moved to Chicago at age 24 to start my career, I did not know what to expect, and actually thought I might move back to Michigan. Right! After meeting friends of a lifetime, living into the gay man I am, falling in love with this city, and growing up, I now call Chicago home. What I know for sure is that life is a roller coaster, friends come and go, but they are always in my heart. Relationships start and end and new ones begin, but if we make it to the end of each day, “The Sun will rise tomorrow.” We are all dealing with our own stuff on a daily basis, but as friends and humans, we are here to support each other. Some days are great and some not as great, but when I sit back and reflect, I know, I have a damn good life filled with amazing accomplishments, amazing adventures, and amazing relationships. In this moment, right now, 15 years after moving to Chicago, I couldn’t be happier. Thank you Chicago for helping me grow up and Say YES to LIFE!

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