gayman – Say YES to Life

Celebrating 40: Iconic Album Covers

Published on July 12, 2016July 13, 2016 by MattLeave a comment

A few weeks ago I was gathering songs for the “poolside” playlist on my 40th Birthday Celebration trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. My friend Cary and I were messaging back and forth about songs. He sent me a list of every #1 song on my birthday over the past 39 years. There was only one song that I wrote back and said, “I can’t have “The Macarena” on my playlist.” He suggested I use the #2 song from my birthday in 1996, “You’re Makin’ Me High” by Toni Braxton. I said, “Oh, is that the ‘red’ album cover?” “No, that was later in the 2000s.” At that moment, a new blog post started to be created.

2000

I heard Dick Clark tell Oprah once, “Music is the soundtrack of our life.” For me and many of you, music is just that for you too. I’m a pretty nostalgic person. I get that from my dad. There are so many memories that I have that are related to music. “Drive” by the Cars takes me back to a moment when I was driving home for curfew back in high school. It was summer and my windows were down. I think it was probably 11:45p.m. I will always remember that drive down Westnedge Avenue past Portage Central High School, on my way home. Album cover art also can take us back to times in our lives in an instant. There are many album covers that are on lists of “the best ever”. Perhaps some of my “iconic” covers are the same, but probably not most. My iconic album covers take me back to childhood, the teen years, college, and even the more recent past. Join me down my memory lane.

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1980

One of the first influential artists for me was Barbara Mandrell. I was four or five years old and used to dress up and perform alongside her and her sisters on Saturday nights during their show. A wooden spoon was my microphone, the fireplace hearth was my stage, and the light above was my spotlight. My grandparents took me to two county fairs to see her in concert. I had several of her albums. My favorite was the vinyl of her live concert which she ended with “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” But it was this album that always has stayed in my mind. I LOVED the hot pick and I LOOOOOVED her high heels on the back cover. She was fierce!

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1983

My mom had this cassette tape. I remember getting a new station wagon in 1984 with a tape player in it. It was so exciting to go for rides in that car and get to play this tape. It had so many hits, “Penny Lover”, “Running With the Night”, “All Night Long”, “Hello”, “Stuck On You,”and my absolute favorite, “The Only One.” So many hit songs. Albums don’t produce this many hits now. This is a classic album and I will always remember the white and blue.

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1982

Another early classic in my life, the cassette tape of Olivia Newton-John’s Greatest Hits Volume 2. This WAS basically her 1983 HBO concert that I was obsessed with. Again, I used to find my mother’s clothes and dress up as close as I could to her four costume changes and I would perform over and over again as I watched this concert. “Make a Move On Me”, “Magic”, “Suddenly”, “Physical”, “A Little More Love”, “Heart Attack” and of course, “Xanadu”. You can’t even find this album on iTunes or Spotify. It’s a real shame. I love this entire album! It is too bad that Olivia never had much after about 1984. Could that be because Madonna hit it big?

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1986

Speaking of Madonna, True Blue, is her most iconic album cover to me. The short blonde hair is everything and those thick eyebrows! “Open Your Heart”, “La Isla Bonita”, “Live To Tell”, and “Papa Don’t Preach” are such iconic songs to me. I remember when “Open Your Heart” came out I was 10 years old, roughly the same age as that boy in the video. He was so cute and I definitely noted that in my head. Hmmmm…. I loved that he got to dance around with Madonna too. This was also the album that sparked conversations with my parents about what I was listening to. My parents never made much fuss over my music choices. I guess probably because I was listening to Lionel, Olivia, and Whitney. However, “Papa Don’t Preach” sparked conversations and a somewhat ban on me listening to that song. I don’t think the “ban” stuck very long, I guess a battle they didn’t want to fight. Mostly this album was about “Open Your Heart” for me. It really was my jam as a young gay boy!

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1982

RIO by Duran Duran was totally 80s pop art. This cover WAS 1982 at it’s best and is what I think about when I think about the early 80s. One of my second cousins had this album. He was a bit older than me. His hair style and clothes matched that of the early 80’s Duran Duran. I was so jealous of his style. I love the 80s!

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1982

Another early 80s gem is Vacation by the Go-Go’s. This makes me remember spending long summer days over at the Anderson’s house. I would play dress up and pageants with Melanie and her cousin Pam. I would also get to play with Mel’s Barbie dolls. She was a bit older and so over playing with Barbie, but it was everything to me because I wanted a Barbie so badly. Haha. Anyway, listening to the Go-Go’s and Tears For Fears and watching General Hospital filled those summer days in 1984-85. What great memories!

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1984

1984 was all about Michael Jackson. I think my brother had this cassette tape. The thing I remember most was the baby tiger and Michael on the inside cover. While “Thriller” scared me(Vincent Price laughing), “Billie Jean”, Human Nature” and “PYT” were my favorites. I think Bad was more my time, but this album cover was Michael’s big push away as an iconic solo artist.

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1984

Also in 1984 my brother had this Van Halen album, 1984. I just remember thinking that baby was so naughty and I couldn’t believe my parents let my brother have this tape. However, I’m glad they did because….”Panama”, “Jump”, and “Hot For Teacher”.

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1984

Isn’t it funny and interesting what speaks to people? What stands out to one person is totally different than another person. When I’m asked the age old question, “When did you know you were gay?” I often think about 6th grade as that pivotal time of noticing boys and thinking they were cute. But then I think about this album cover for Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. We didn’t have this album in our house but I remember seeing it and thinking, “his butt!” Obviously there is more to this album, “Born in the USA”, “Glory Days”, “I’m On Fire” and “Dancing in the Dark”, but really, it’s that butt!!

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1987

While most people think very fondly of this album, and I admit now, it’s a great album. “Where the Streets Have No Name, “With or Without You” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” stand the test of time. I love those songs. Yet, on March 2, 1988 at the 30th Annual Grammy Awards, The Joshua Tree beat Whitney Houston’s Whitney album for Album of the Year and I was SO MAD! Haha, oh to be an outraged 11 year old! Anyway, this is iconic for me because it beat Whitney. How dare they!

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1987

That smile! That hair! This album was and will forever be everything to me! Many people think about Whitney’s debut album with her slicked back hair and that peach toga on, but I really think this fun, bright 80s album cover is an 80s classic. My cousin Tammy got this cassette tape for me for my birthday in 1987. Whitney was 23 years old when she recorded this hit making album. With the release of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody(Who Loves Me)”, “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”, “So Emotional”, and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” along with three hits from her debut album, Whitney hit a record which still stands today-Seven Consecutive Number One Hits. Mick Jagger was in a studio next to Whitney the day she recorded “So Emotional”. On his way out of the studio he knocked on her door so he could meet the person behind that voice. Mick told Whitney she had an instant hit with “So Emotional” and he was right. It might be some of the non-released songs that are my favorite. The sultry, r&b burner “Just the Lonely Talking Again” and “Where You Are” probably my favorite Whitney song ever. It’s simple with classic 80s saxophone and just her pure 23 year old voice. This is Whitney’s pop sensation and the cover is pure pop perfection!

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1992

That dancing bee!

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1999

I don’t really know why this cover sticks out to me? You? Haha! This IS the TRL Generation for sure. We had boy bands and Britney, but we also had Blink 182 and “What’s My Age Again”.

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1995

Tragic Kingdom and No Doubt was my freshman year at Michigan State. There were a ton of other albums that year too, but for some reason this one sticks in my mind. “Spiderwebs”, “Don’t Speak”, but mostly “The Climb” played over and over again in A416 Bryan Hall. There is so much going on on this cover. The flies, the fruit that looks like chocolate chip cookies, but mostly Gwen!

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1994

“Waterfalls” was everything and this album was everything also my freshman year of college. CrazySexyCool spoke to each of their personas but it’s the red color, the eyes that stand out. “Creep”, “Diggin’ On You”, “Waterfalls” and “Red Light Special” were the hits, but “Sumthin’ Wicked This Way Comes” was on repeat. CrazySexyCool propelled TLC into the r&b stratosphere!

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2013

I have a love/hate relationship with this album cover. It’s iconic because there are very few people who are known by just their first name. Beyoncé is one of those artists. This album was a surprise release and it is one of her best. Yet, is she a little lazy by just making it black and pink? Why so lazy Bey? Or did she do it simply because she can? Regardless, it stands out to me and I remember it because it came at a time in my life that was rocky. I remember going over to my friend Dennis’s apartment and drinking martinis and listening to this album over and over again one cold February night. It was one of those times that you just needed a friend and music.

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1993

May 1993, “That’s the Way Love Goes” was everything to me. I know I use the word “everything” a lot in this post because depending on the time in my life, these albums were everything to me. Janet. came at a time that I was really trying to figure things out about life and high school and all of that stuff. My brother was off to college and his high school relationship had ended. I remember thinking during “Again” that maybe they would get back together. They didn’t and as we know now, that is how life works, but I really thought and hoped they would get back together because of the words in “Again.” Haha, oh youth! This was the controversial album that had a man holding Janet’s breasts on the cover of Rolling Stone. Regardless of that, I absolutely LOVED her short ringlets. I loved them. I loved the sepia tone and the burnt siena “Janet.” This album exudes sex and sexiness – “Throb” and “Any Time Any Place” for a teenager just starting to take note of all of that stuff. And of course, there is the video that every girl and gay man still wants to recreate, “IF”. This album will go down in my history as one of the best.

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So there they are, the album covers that are iconic to me and some of the music that goes along with them. Is it just me or have album covers and album art become less relevant over the years? With iTunes and Apple Music and Spotify, are we really that concerned with the cover art? Do we look at it the same? Do we need it like we used to? Remember walking into the music store and going straight to the poster section? I would always go in and hope for a new Whitney Houston promotional poster. I missed out on her first posters for the Whitney Houston album, and finally this one came out and the Anderson’s got it for me for my birthday. I still have it!

Yet I do wonder, do we view album art like we used to? I don’t think we do because everything is so quick on the internet. Rarely are we going to the music store to buy albums. We used to need to see that artwork and get excited over it. Now we just buy things on the internet in an instant and it’s done. I love that all of these album covers mean something to me and derive memories over time.

As I turn 40 and reflect back on music and the memories it produces I am able to see that for me music is really my spiritual connection with life. Listening to artists interpret songs is nothing short of transformative for me. Music does take me back to times in my life that I want to remember, whether happy or sad, simply because it helps me understand my life better and helps me see how far I have come in the last 40 years.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Published on June 19, 2016June 19, 2016 by MattLeave a comment

It’s been one week since the mass killing at a gay bar in Orlando, Florida. I haven’t posted anything because I have been at a loss for words. 49 people lost their lives because of hate. It could have happened anywhere. It could have been me. It could have been you.

Wherever you find your sanctuary should be sacred and safe. It might be your yoga mat or your church or your gym or your music class or your running path or your, bar. For so many gay men and women they find solace and acceptance at their local gay bars. I have too over the years found a place to be myself at the gay bars in Chicago. Whether it was to go dance, sing showtunes, or just grab a drink with friends, for many years I have found a place of comfort, a place where people understand my journey, at gay bars.

Find a place where you belong with people who understand your journey.

For many years I went to bars with my friends. The very first night I stepped foot in my first gay bar, I breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh, so THIS is what it is supposed to feel like at the bar,” I thought. This is where people like me are hanging out. I was at Sidetrack and it was full of MEN and I felt so at home. After a few months of being so nervous I’d be shaking on my way to the gay bars, I began to feel more and more comfort. I started to meet other gay men, like me. Again, it was absolutely wonderful to be at a common place where I knew the people there understood me and understood the questions I had, the excitement I felt, and the fear that being there might not always be the safest. That is true, what happened at Pulse night club in Orlando is something that I feared would one day happen. I would sometimes think, “What is stopping a hate filled person from coming in here and shooting this place up and killing many many people?” Sad but true, I’ve had that thought way too many times. We deserve better in America. We deserve to feel safe everywhere, especially the places we consider our sanctuaries.

The shooting in Orlando has hit very close to home. It scares me, yet I know that my life can’t stop. The LGBTQ community was targeted, but like many fights before, I know that my community will survive this tragedy and will move the fight for gun laws. The Washington Post wrote, “The Gay Rights Movement Could Take On the NRA – And Actually Win.” Like mass shootings of the past, what we can’t let happen is our government to be shocked, pledge to pass stricter gun laws, then fade away quietly without doing a damn thing. That is what we cannot let happen. We must stand up and right for our safety. Congress is supposed to write and pass laws that keep us safe. Their inaction over the years has caused us to be more unsafe. Sign this MoveOn.org petition and let your voice be heard here. And while you are signing, click here to sign a thank you note to Senator Murphy for his filibuster for stronger gun laws. At least he is trying to do something!

While I don’t love the opening line on the above picture, the message is true. The hate filled mass shooting on Orlando’s gay community has struck a chord. We have fought for a long time to get our rights and I truly believe that our “powerful progressive movement” will move us closer to much needed gun reform.

What I know for sure it is that the LGBTQ community is strong, mighty, feisty, loud and proud, and we do, “get shit done.” Everyone should feel safe wherever they find solace and comfort and a place of belonging. The Lieutenant Governor of Utah very boldly called the straight community out on this idea that a gay bar is a sanctuary. “I believe that there is a question, two questions actually, that each of us needs to ask ourselves in our heart of hearts. And I am speaking now to the straight community. How did you feel when you heard that 49 people had been gunned down by a self-proclaimed terrorist? That’s the easy question. Here is the hard one: Did that feeling change when you found out the shooting was at a gay bar at 2 a.m. in the morning? If that feeling changed, then we are doing something wrong.” Wherever you call your sanctuary, you should be able to go and find comfort and safety. Hate cannot and will not force us to hide. It must bring us together. Read what happened when an Orthodox Jewish congregation when to a gay bar. “If we are going to survive, we all need each other.” So, so true. We have to stick together and help. We are at our strongest when we are together.

So this is what is going to happen, the LGBTQ community is going to dance again. We’re going to return to our sanctuaries and we’re going to fight to make them safer. We’re going to be loud and proud and we’re going to keep on going. Please join us, help us, and support us. For when we are together we are at our strongest.

Equal Dignity — June 26, 2015

Published on July 22, 2015July 22, 2015 by MattLeave a comment

It’s been 25 days since the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in favor of equal rights and equal dignity for all Americans. Call it Gay Marriage, call it Marriage, call it what it is, a Human Right that is afforded to Americans based on our Constitution. I’ve been meaning to write about this momentous day for a few weeks, but just haven’t had a chance. I also wanted it to settle in and I wanted to feel it. On June 26, 2015 LOVE did win.

We should never let anyone into our hearts if they don’t enter with love. With all the hatred around the SCOTUS decision and the fight over equal rights, “Love Wins” is one of the truest messages. As the late, great Whitney Houston once sang, “Your love is my love and my love is your love.” We all love. We all want to love. We all want to feel love. If two men or two women find love, let it be, please! Who’s to say that your love is more right than my love or my love is more right than your love? Life, this journey, is hard enough, why make it harder by fighting over love? Let love be. Let us move forward allowing everyone to love.

So here’s my perspective as a non-religious gay man, it’s a separation of church and state. Our forefathers wrote that into the constitution for a reason. For so many years I have been arguing the point that I’m not asking to get married in your church. I’m not religious, so I would never get married in a church. If you want to that is wonderful, for you. “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness” is part of the Constitution(state, “government”), and if my happiness means marrying a man, then I get to do that. Marriage comes in two forms. There is a ceremony(the church if you choose) and there is the license. With the legal part of a marriage license come rights that heterosexual couples have always had. These are the law, not the Bible. These are the state, not the church. No matter what you believe marriage is, one man, one woman…two men or two women…everyone should be given the same legal rights of marriage because we live in America and we all should be afforded the same rights. Now, because SCOTUS ruled in favor, it is the Law of the Land, as it should be, as it always should have been, as it now will be forever more.

Ever since President Obama came out in favor of gay marriage, I felt things would pick up speed, and they sure did. People have differing opinions on when and how Obama “evolved” into believing in the right for gay men and women to marry. He is a politician and our country is so divided that of course he didn’t come out and fully support gay marriage until after he successfully won his second term. Say what you choose, but what matters to me is that he did and I always felt he would, once he was a second term President. When President Obama took office two states recognized gay marriage, seven years later, all 50 states recognize it. I believe that when the leader of the free world came out and supported equal rights, the slope slipped in the right direction. Call it political posturing, or whatever, Obama had to do it the right way and he did. Thank you Mr. President!

Several years ago, my friend’s son wrote a letter to President Obama. He asked the President to pass a law so that I can get married. How wonderful, right? E has known me since the time he was born. He and his sister have grown up in a time that gay men and women have just been part of social media and their personal life. In my opinion, he’s been lucky enough to have several “Guncles” in his life, and we are lucky enough to have him in our lives. This now middle school boy just accepts love as love, couples as couples, people as people. My hope is that his generation is growing up knowing that “love is love”. They are going to be the first generation that doesn’t quite remember the time of marriage vs. gay marriage. He and his generation will know only, MARRIAGE.

Speaking of the younger generation, did you see this 7 year-old girl stand up to a homophobic preacher?

It’s quite wonderful that I was home in Michigan visiting my family the day of the SCOTUS decision. My five and six-year-old nieces’ take on the day’s events, “Can we be your flower girls and wear pretty dresses?” Again, this young generation will not remember a time when marriage was talked about separately. They will only know marriage as a celebration of love. How wonderful is that?

The sidewalk in Bronson Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan-June 26, 2015

So what does this all mean? I think Frank Bruni writes about it best in his article “Our Weddings, Our Worth” from the New York Times. It’s about worth. It’s about EVERY American feeling worthy and feeling noticed and feeling dignified. This blows my mind because it is exactly how I feel when Bruni writes, “And that’s because the Supreme Court’s decision wasn’t simply about weddings. It was about worth. From the highest of this nation’s perches, in the most authoritative of this nation’s voices, a majority of justices told a minority of Americans that they’re normal and that they belong — fully, joyously and with cake.” So what it means is that our young gay men and women can grow up in a time knowing that they belong and that they are normal and that they matter. And for me it means that I can get married and have cake!!

As all of this settles in, there are still haters, some of whom want to lead our country like Ted Cruz who is calling for states not to follow the law. Um, Ted, it’s the law. You have to follow it. Sorry dude! We must push that nonsense away(and not vote these bigots into office)and forge our path to love!! LOVE! While we do that, I would like to share some of my favorite moments and images of June 26th, 2015 and the days following via social media.

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The White House

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Our President 🙂

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Our Next President–Please?

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Police raising the Pride flag at City Hall in Chicago

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Niagara Falls

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What a week in US history

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A lot of work yet to accomplish

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This Instagram post from Bey

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That’s right, what makes being American and living in America so wonderful is that we can all have different opinions and we don’t have to agree on any of them. But, we should always be kind to one another and we all deserve the same rights. In the end, it’s about every American knowing that he matters, that she is worthy, and that we are all dignified. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the most beautiful final paragraph in his majority opinion ruling.

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.

Now we move forward. Let’s call it marriage. Let’s call it celebrations of love. We’re all equal and we’re all deserving of human rights. We are all deserving of the rights afforded to all Americans. So go ahead, you can just call it MARRIAGE now.

Seasons Change

Published on September 11, 2014September 12, 2014 by Matt1 Comment

Let me take you back, it’s February 10, 2002 and you are watching the final episode of the best Sex and the City season, Season 4. Carrie and Aiden broke up again, Big left again, but Carrie has a new, sassy haircut and dark smokey eyes. It’s Fall, change is upon Carrie, not only with men, but Miranda, her bestie just had a baby. It’s Fall, the change of a season, leaves are falling from the sky and a lot in Carrie’s life has changed.

Today is a crisp day in Chicago and I sense the change of season is upon us. As I drove home from yoga I couldn’t help but notice the leaves are changing colors. Thirty minutes earlier I was at the end of my yoga practice, in shavasana. I was feeling great. Many of my favorite teachers have left, but this new one, Lauren, captured me. As I laid there I reflected on the place I was a year ago. Although I was working so hard on getting past a breakup, I was still very much hurting on a daily basis. I’d say to myself, “You can do this. You aren’t where you want to be but you are so far from the pain you felt in May and June and July.” As soon as I felt strong, it seemed I felt weak again. Each day was still a struggle, but I was making it. I was making each day the best I could make it. I was heavy into marathon training and into yoga practice. However, today, as I lay there on my mat I felt completely different. A year later I feel completely different. I’m energized like myself. I feel a release of energy that is so true to my being. A year ago my intention in practice was healing, today my intention was love. I just had this feeling on my mat today of AHHHHHH, changes have occurred and actually, I’m a far happier person because of those changes. I’m in a far better place because of those changes. Gosh it was a long journey, through many seasons, but I made it to the other side. On a daily basis I did not see where I was headed, but what I know for sure, is that each day of the past 365 days, I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And right now, September 11, 2014, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I would never wish upon anyone to go through heartbreak. It sucks! But now, very far from it, with clear eyes and a full heart, I can clearly see the changes that the past 16 months have afforded me. What should be known is that each day isn’t easy. You have to make an effort to move forward and let go. My god did I struggle with letting go. But once I did, doors opened. New people came into my life and because of those new people, other people came into my life. I started this blog because I finally let go. I participated in the Gay Games in Cleveland because I finally let go. I have a different energy in my life now because I let go. And honestly, I’ve packed on 10 lbs. because I LET GO! Let’s be honest, crying daily and not eating and training for a marathon can take you down to 168 lbs., but sitting at 178 lbs., a year later, I’m a much happier, energized person.

I remember back in July last year, I was sitting at my doctor’s office with a broken heart and broken hand. She said, “Wow, you’re really going through a season, but don’t worry, it will get better. Everything changes, you just have to hold on for a little bit before you see it. Your hand will mend, and so will your heart.” I of course was sobbing, but she was right. My hand did heal and so did my heart. I had to fucking tape that shit back together somedays, but with each stick of new tape and each step of the day, it all got better. With friends’ help, oh friends’ help, I made it to my yoga mat today where I realized how far my journey has taken me and how far I have come. If you find yourself in a similar situation, just hold on. Surround yourself by loving friends and get a whole mess of tape because it could take a lot of mending before it all sticks back together. But you have to believe that one day, your heart will stick all back together. It may never feel the same way, but I believe that is ok. It’s not meant to feel the same way. Your heart changes too, just as you do. You will always love again, just in a different way. Thank your journey for teaching you all kinds of ways to love. And remember this, seasons are going to happen, some of them good, some of them not so good. You will make it to the other side.

Oh, no truer words have been written, no truer words. A year ago I was just starting to take longer steps in a forward progression to letting go. As I reflect, I realize that I needed ALL of that time to learn about myself and heal and tape my heart up and tape again and accept the changes and SEE how wonderful the experiences I’ve lived this year have been. A month ago I was coming off the greatest 10 days at the Gay Games in Cleveland. Had I still been living my life of 2012-2013, I would never have experienced the love, joy, and excitement of being a competitive athlete at the Gay Games. CHANGE, I don’t love it, but it brings us to where we need to be. It forces us to veer off course and perhaps make our fate. If things in my life hadn’t changed, I would not be sitting here today typing and sharing my writing. So many parts of my life, right now, wouldn’t be as they are had things not changed. Am I going to say it? Change, change is good.

As seasons come and go, often fall, is a time of reflection as spring is a time of new hope, new adventures. Winter is a time for, well, winter sucks, but summer, summer is a time for fun and joy. My hope for you, as autumn seems to be upon us, is that you had a wonderful summer filled with more joy and love than you could ever imagine. I hope that new people have brought joy and love to your life, as they have to mine, and I hope your dearest friends have remained that consistent joyful reminder of happiness and how far you have come on this journey. I hope that autumn brings you a time of reflection, a nice new sweater and good changes.

What Chicago Means to Me

Published on July 19, 2014July 19, 2014 by MattLeave a comment

Heading into 15 years living, learning, and loving in Chicago. I moved to Chicago July 19, 2000, what? Where did time go? What have the last 14 years meant to me? When I graduated from Michigan State it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that I was moving here. Though I did not know anyone in the city, my parents helped me pack up the van and leave 10330 Lloy St. for the last time. What I know for sure is that I was raised in Portage, Michigan, but I GREW UP in Chicago.

I can only imagine the horror my mother, in particular, must have felt dropping me off at my apartment on Kenmore and Montrose, in “North” Wrigleyville as I called it. I’ve been mocked for years about that one, but who wanted to live in Uptown? I was a 24-year-old, Wrigleyville should have been my home. Haha. Though the neighborhood is way more cleaned up now, it still needs more and back then, it needed a lot. There were homeless guys lying around and certainly the Target, et al. were not there to spruce up the streets. I didn’t want to display my fear, so I stayed as strong as a 24-year-old boy could, shaking in his boots. I knew no one and I didn’t know what to do with my time. My second day some drugged up woman got into my building and came to my door asking for money or drugs. I had to shove her out and lock the door. I stayed for 4 days and called my mom crying. She told me to come home for a few days, which turned into two or three weeks. What I know now, 14 years later, is that I could have gone to a bar and sat there for dinner and drinks. I could have gotten out of the apartment and gone for a roller blade down the lake(yes, I still had roller blades then). However, I didn’t have the confidence. What do you do when you are alone, in a city where you know no one, and you have four weeks until work starts? Ah, to do it all over again, I would have stayed. Speaking of staying, I told my mother I would stay in Chicago for a year and see how things go. I have a sneaking suspicion she knew I wouldn’t return to Michigan. The big city is for me. Chicago is where I grew up!

Here’s to 15 years in Chicago with 15 classic, not necessarily classy, times.

TOBs (The OB’s) sorority we created and follow-up initiation ceremony of our ‘Lils.

THE Friendsgiving at Amanda, Jess and Shayna’s – making friends, losing friends, and Sure-Thing Schuering’s bedroom conversations – oh you remember, THAT one!

“Youhoo” dinner at Lucia’s with 15+ bottles of wine, Cary, Charlie, Carrie, Diane and Patty. “Youhoo” who’s taking me home tonight?”

Leaving Starlight Express at intermission to race home to Lesley’s apartment for the show Paradise Hotel. “Yahtzee game on!”

The “Pretty Woman” moment waking up in a hotel room downtown, by myself, opening the curtains and realizing I was at the Swissotel.

(Forever known as “The View” photo.)

Wicked Keggers dancing out of closets (and from under tables) to “Last Dance”, keg stands, and flip cup!

The NSync concert and stalking Joey Fatone – I think I lived in my new Lincoln Park apartment for only a few days. I’d just met my roommate Laura. The night started by going to Soldier Field for the NSync concert with Amanda, Jess, and Deana. Following, we got “word” where the boys would be hanging out. One of the places, Kustom Night Club, was mere feet away from our apartment. We (Laura, neighbor Julie, and I)loaded into Julie’s car and we went on a hunt. Zipping through the streets, on Armitage, off Armitage. On Clybourn, off, Clybourn. We parked the car, then drove again. We sat in an ally until we saw the black SUV pull up. This is it! It seemed after all the twists, turns, and alleys that we were a distance away from our apartment. Julie parked the car again and we hustled to the club. It’s weird to me that we got right in, but we did. We got drinks and waited, waited some more, ordered more drinks and waited longer. Finally, AHHHHHHHHHHH, they arrived, at least that was the buzz in the bar. “OMG, I’m going to meet Justin. OMG!” Imagine all of our dismay when Joey Fatone walked by to the VIP lounge and brushed up against Laura arm. She was sort of excited and pissed at the same time. “OMG, he graced my arm. Why did it have to be Joey? Who likes Joey?” As we left, someone said, “I feel like we are right around the corner from our apartment.” Shortly thereafter, we got to the car and drove approximately 1000 feet back to our apartment.

Market Days 2009 positioning ourselves at Mini Bar both Saturday and Sunday (wash, rinse, repeat) for hours drinking vodka lemonades, meeting the boys from Atlanta, and yes, dancing the night away at Charlie’s.

My Hollywood Night! The Scene: August night, post kickball game, Kit Kat Club, “Dreamgirls” playing, drag queen performing – Dennis and me in our super cute “After School Specials” short red shorts uniforms and a few martinis deep….we enter Kit Kat and as if the spotlight of a Broadway show turned to us we immediately go into Dreamgirls performance mode. We sashayed up and down the bar, full crowd cheering us on as the drag queen was in the back room performing her heart out. The song ends, Dennis and I take a Dreamgirls pose (I’m obviously Beyoncé), and the crowd of people at the tables roar with cheers, they are on their feet yelling and screaming and clapping. The drag queen is on her way back up to the front ready to claw our eyes out. The bartender jumps over the bar and pushed Dennis and me out of the bar, “Get outta here, SHE PISSED!” Best, best, best moment EVER!

My 30th Birthday/Coming Out Party! The amazing, “Is It Gay In Here or Is It Just Me?” night ended with Dennis and me trying to find Charlie’s dance club, which we had been to countless times. “Dennis?”

“Yes, Matty.”

“Are we at Lake Shore Drive?”

“Yes Matty, we are. How did that happen?”

This Night!

The Running of the Bulls Halloween! Hands down, the best!

My first night ever out in Boystown, the “ah ha” moment of being in a bar with all men-what a “right” feeling and what a debaucherous night.

Completing my first Chicago Marathon in 2011. Truly the best day of my life!

Hitting on myself at Charlie’s at 4 a.m. I blame the sangria from Ba Ba Reeba. So what happened is that we had to wait close to two hours for our table. As we proceeded to drink more and more, the night got fuzzy. Some of us ended up at Charlie’s dance club around 2 a.m. In hindsight I should have left with my friends, but I stayed. Good thing I did because I met a guy that night. The scene: hot sultry August night, smoky dance floor, 4 a.m., boys sweating and dancing everywhere, and I saw him. We made eye contact from across the dance floor, through the smoke, and started to approach each other in slow motion. As I got closer to him, he got closer to me. As I smiled, he smiled. “This is it,” I thought. As I reached for his hand, he reached for me……then I ran into the mirror! I RAN INTO THE FUCKING MIRROR! I hit on MYSELF! MYSELF!!!!

What I Know For Sure

The last 14 years have flown by like a flash and mostly been one hell of a ride. When I moved to Chicago at age 24 to start my career, I did not know what to expect, and actually thought I might move back to Michigan. Right! After meeting friends of a lifetime, living into the gay man I am, falling in love with this city, and growing up, I now call Chicago home. What I know for sure is that life is a roller coaster, friends come and go, but they are always in my heart. Relationships start and end and new ones begin, but if we make it to the end of each day, “The Sun will rise tomorrow.” We are all dealing with our own stuff on a daily basis, but as friends and humans, we are here to support each other. Some days are great and some not as great, but when I sit back and reflect, I know, I have a damn good life filled with amazing accomplishments, amazing adventures, and amazing relationships. In this moment, right now, 15 years after moving to Chicago, I couldn’t be happier. Thank you Chicago for helping me grow up and Say YES to LIFE!

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